Aziza Kibibi was only eight-years-old when her father – an
MTV award-winning music video director – started defiling her. By 10, Aswad
Ayinde’s lessons teaching his daughter ‘how to be a woman’ turned violent and
his regular defiling produced five children out of inc*st in a perverse attempt
to create a ‘pure’ bloodline.
Ayinde, who is also known as Charles McGill and won fame
after directing The Fugees’ ‘Killing Me Softly’ video, was sentenced to 50
years in prison on July 26, finally ending Kibibi’s nightmare.
The incredibly brave woman, who is now 35, married and
running a promising baking business, spoke out about the traumatic childhood
this week for the first time.
Kibibi revealed her childhood started off relatively normal.
She lived with her mother and father on the third-floor of an apartment in
Paterson, New Jersey, with her Jamaican immigrant grandparents living below.
Kibibi was home-schooled but still allowed to play with the
neighbourhood children. When her family grew to include eight children they
moved into a bigger apartment in the same building.
It was when Kibibi started to mature that her father started
giving her unwanted attention.
‘He told me I was special. Initially, it was to teach me to
be a woman,’ she said. ‘By the time he started having intercourse with me, he
was getting more and more violent. When I would start fighting him, he would
hit me. It was more about threats.’
Her father began to change, and became more controlling over
the family. He moved them out of their grandparent’s apartment to another house
in Paterson before relocating to Eatontown in Southern New Jersey. The children
were only allowed to watch a small amount of TV, and nothing that depicted
traditional family life.
Modern medicine was outlawed in the house, and he actually
told his wife that his relations with Kibibi were to treat her eczema.
Kibibi wasn’t the only one Ayinde was having s*x with. He
had a mistress – a Manhattan lawyer whom he had another two children with – and
was also abusing one of Kibibi’s sisters.
He called himself a polygamist and a prophet. His family was
allowed to pray to god but could only do so through him.
‘He said the world was going to end, and it was just going
to be him and his offspring and that he was chosen,’ his ex-wife, Beverly
Ayinde testified at a 2010 pre-trial hearing. She said he was attempting to
create a ‘pure’ bloodline by procreating with his daughters.
When Kibibi’s first child was born without defects, Ayinde
took it as proof and continued to r*pe the girl to get her pregnant.
But the following children would not be so lucky. Two
further daughters born from her father would be diagnosed with phenylketonuria
(PKU) a disease that prevents the body from breaking down amino acids. PKU can
cause brain damage and seizures.
Dr. Anna Haroutunian, a PKU specialist who has treated
Kibibi’s children, said they definitely got the disease because of inbreeding.
PKU is a recessive gene, so both parents must have the gene
in order for it to pass along to the child. The gene only appears at a rate of
1 in 4,000 worldwide and is must lower for African-Americans. Likely Kibibi’s
paternal grandfather had the gene.
Over the years, Kibibi became obsessed with escaping. She
would sleep just because her dreams were better than real life.
‘I’d dream about running away. I’d dream about getting all
my brothers and sisters — one of my sisters was a baby, and I was taking care
of her — I’d dream about growing br**sts and getting milk and running away with
them somewhere,’ she said.
When she was older and one of her sons fell sick, she
finally got the courage to take him to the hospital since Ayinde was out of town
on a business trip.
But she didn’t know how to interact with the doctors and a
social worker stepped in, alerting the Department of Youth a Family Services.
When Ayinde returned from his business trip he was enraged,
and threatened to forcibly remove his son from the hospital.
Child services stepped in before he could do that and placed
them in separate homes.
After that Kibibi, her mother and her sisters moved away
from Ayinde as she attempted to get her children back.
Her performance in state-mandated courses and counselling
impressed the government officials and eventually her children were returned to
her.
‘She has been an exceptional mother,’ Haroutunian said. ‘She
was so attentive and patient, it’s remarkable. For a young girl – with all
she’s had – she has been just wonderful.’
Having to fight to get her children back also empowered
Kibibi, and translated to her life after abuse. She now lives in East Orange,
New Jersey with her husband.
She went back to school for her GED and will finish her
liberal arts degree from Essex County College this fall. She also runs her own
baking business and plans to start a restaurant someday.
Kibibi and her sister decided to finally bring charges
against their abusive father. They delayed pressing charges since they were
unsure the affect it would have on the children.
She shared her story in hopes of making a difference with
those in a similar situation.
‘Instead of just being an experience that I had, maybe this
strengthened me. What doesn’t break us makes us stronger.’
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